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	The Evidence Archive
What you think you know about tobacco may surprise you

Forces Comité van Aanbeveling

Forces Nederland
E-Mail:
info@forces-nl.org

AUNTIE FAQ FOR NEWBIES AND LURKERS

Q. Is this the Official FAQ for alt.smokers?

A. No. This FAQ is geared towards the lurker and new poster to alt.smokers, which is a pro-smokers ng. The Official FAQ is posted in two parts, once or twice a month under the title, "alt.smokers FAQ".

It is strongly suggested that you read the Official FAQ and several days of posts before posting on the ng.

Q. What is an Auntie?

A. The term "Auntie" was coined by Kyoteee in 1995 to describe a prissy, frustrated control freak; e.g., Tom Sawyer's Aunt Polly, an officious intermeddler described in fiction by Mark Twain, who sought to control every aspect of young Tom's life. To smokers and their supporters, an Auntie is an ex-smoker or a never-smoker who doesn't believe that people should exercise their right to choose for themselves in what habit(s) they decide to indulge.

Q. Can you give an example of Auntie-ism?

A. Sure. This is a fine example of how we know that all Aunties lie:

Writing in Toxological Pathology, Alvan Feinstein, a Yale University epidemiologist quotes another prominent epidemiologist as saying this about the EPA report: "Yes, it's rotten science, but it's in a worthy cause. It will help us to get rid of cigarettes and become a smoke-free society."

Q. Why should it matter to them what other people do?

A. Because they're control freaks, pure and simple. That's why they gatecrash this ng.

Q. Why do the Aunties pick on smokers, especially?

A. Because they're jealous. More than likely, and this is evidenced by some of their posts, people in 'real life' don't give them enough attention so they come to alt.smokers for it. Whether that attention is negative or positive doesn't seem to matter to them.

Q. It doesn't make any sense why Aunties would post to a pro-smokers ng. Why do they do that?

A. They believe that if they repeat and parrot the same lies often enough, people will begin to believe them. Also, as you'll notice if you stay a while (and we hope you do!), some of them seem to have real psychological problems stemming from neurotic, occasionally hysterical, fears and domination/control motivations.

Q. You mean they lie on purpose?!

A. Yes. It's the only way they can get their 'message' out. There are many smokers and their supporters who do a magnificent job at refuting and demolishing all the Aunties' lies on alt.smokers.
You'll see that when an Auntie is caught in a lie, he or she will either ignore it or scream "Rationalization!" or "Denial!" Another tactic they use is to try to change the subject, to divert attention away from the issue at hand. When you see this happening, make sure you drag them back to the original point of the thread (similar to training a puppy who needs its leash tugged until it learns the right spot to go potty or to come when it's called).

Q. Who are some of these lunatics? Is there a scorecard of names I should have so I know ahead of time who's an Auntie and who is not?

A. You'll recognize them quickly enough. A few are so obsessed about, and addicted to, this ng that they spend many hours while they're presumably on the clock at their employment to post here.
Others come for a while, then leave, only to reappear weeks or months later.

Q. Why do the smokers and their supporters bother replying to Aunties?

A. Good question! We do it so their lies are exposed for what they are, so that new folks such as yourself won't get caught in the trap of believing their every word. The Aunties' modus operandi is to prove the old adage that if you tell a lie often enough, people will start to believe it. Also, attempting to engage them in a reasonable discussion is futile, since they are usually incapable of reason or logic.
Even so, it *is* fun to watch them squirm and wiggle when we point out the error of their ways.

Q. What are some of the tactics that Aunties use that I should be aware of?

A. Most notably, they'll cut and paste articles from the print or electronic media which purports to support their anti-smoker/anti-smoking views. However, when reading these articles or research study reports, please note that they are liberally peppered with the use of qualifying words which severely diminish the credibility, honesty, and reliability of the article's content and/or conclusions.

The most common qualifying words used are: "may", "suggest", "perhaps", "might", "possibly", and the like. The author(s) like to use these words when their conclusions are less than valid, pertinent, and/or scientific. Aunties don't like it when we point out that the use of such words automatically discredits (and often disqualifies) the conclusions reached by the author(s) who are *paid* to reach those conclusions, whether hard science backs it up or not. It's all about money, after all.

Q. Any last words of wisdom?

A. Yes. Enjoy yourself to the fullest, both here on the ng and in 'real life', and always remember that all Aunties lie.

Created by Kyoteee, final version completed February 6, 1999, with the invaluable help and support from all the regular smokers and their supporters on alt.smokers. Special thanks to Catwoman, Rumi, Owen, Larry, Gordon, and Cantiloper for their very astute comments and suggestions.

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AUNTIE FAQ FOR NEWBIES AND LURKERS